Clickbait title: Don’t argue on the internet.

There has a lot of ink been spilled about how to change other people’s minds, some people call it debate, others calls it campaigning, others call it propaganda. Changing other people’s mind is desirable for many, because it is seen as giving you power over them. The natural reaction is of course that you my dear reader should not be vulnerable to having your mind changed. You’re clearly smarter than some evil outside influences.

Now the truth of the matter is of course that everyone else put together knows a lot more than you. Often you will be able to admit to yourself that you just don’t know anything about the subject, but sometimes you will be convinced that you already know.

Why people don’t change their mind

This is probably an actual area of research and I’m probably unknowingly a tertiary source for it. Speaking from personal experience, there are certain things that make I feel uncomfortable thinking they may be wrong. They tend to be concentrated in the areas which I use to define myself. For example, I would have a hard time believing academia is a waste of time. Why? Because then I’d have wasted my time! And am on my way to potentially waste even more.

I think the things we are most uncomfortable letting go are the ones that make us comfortable. The things that help us make sense of the world and that we have built other things on top. “If I need to reconsider this, I’d need to reconsider every consequence of it”.

So here’s the not-nice part. I think one of the things needed to change your mind is the ability to let these important things go. But a chair with no legs cannot stand. And people need the chair to like not go insane. So this tends to depend on how load-bearing the fact is for your worldview and how many other legs you have.

Situations to change your mind in

The ideal of many people who have never had to navigate complex relationships is the following: If someone is presented with factual information, they will change their mind.

My proposition is that the situation must allow them to be able to change their mind in the first place. And this primarily happens when there is not much connected to the act of changing your mind, than just considering a new thought. If there are other consequences or expectations it becomes daunting.

Fundamentally, this rules out almost every situation where someone else is waiting on you to change your mind, like for example in a public debate. People naturally don’t want to lose face in public and debates are sadly paradoxically considered contests of both wit and the underlying ideas (both things wrong, most debates are decided by who can turn the other person’s microphone off).

But drilling deeper into debates, I think the brain strains against this feeling of someone winning over us. I think to me I can rationalise it somewhat to not wanting to set a precedent that someone can yell at me enough and I tell them they’re right.

I do think that talking with someone else can be very valuable in having your mind changed. But I think it has to be a person of high trust, who you trust to not hold this against you in some way, where your relationship to them is secure.

The times I’ve found myself change the most where over extended periods where other things in my life changed. Maybe I went to another place than home. I think the brain gets in a new mode of thinking, where you are taking in new things anyway, so you can also accept new thoughts. Maybe a bit more cynically, people constantly change their mind to fit their actions.

A note on propagandists

A change of mind is not inherently good, so you should also recognise when you may be vulnerable to be propagandised. For example when you are in a new place, uncomfortable and something suspiciously easily allows you to feel comfortable in what you are currently doing.

Propagandists have long figured this out, often targeting communities of “outsiders” in a place or people who have recently been shaken up by events.

What propagandists have also figured out is to catch people in the moments where they are searching for comfort, in private. This is why I tend to not advise going exploring on algorithmic social media to search for comfort, you are the fish and they’re putting out a lot of hooks.

Actionable tips

As said, change of mind is not inherently good, but not changing your mind ever is definitely bad.

Search out ways to allow yourself to be vulnerable around people who you trust.

Search out new experiences, even if you don’t see how they could contradict your worldview directly, the mere act of being pulled out of your day-to-day motions will open your mind.

Changing your mind sneaks up on you, sometimes through a single seed you planted a long time ago, but more often through repeated actions.

Sometimes you need to believe something to get you through the day to day. Try to be in charge of that belief, maybe keep it closer to ritualism or storytelling. Adopting systems of beliefs from propagandists gives them the power to put you into discomfort and then sell you the comfort solution.